Monday, July 17, 2006

I saw this somewhere today, and I can't remember where..

"Love isn't enough to save me, but it's enough to give me the hope to save myself. Please don't give up on me. "

Before I met Chris, I was lost and scared. I never knew what was wrong, and I didn't care about what was going to happen next. I've been that way for over four years.

Little by little, over the past 15 months, it's gotten better. I love my life, and I rarely get emotionally lost and out of touch. I truly don't know where I would have been if I had never met him.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Opening statements

I have a myspace, a livejournal, and an actual journal at home. But when I'm at work i feel like writing a lot. But due to the fact that there are so many people that I know reading my thoughts I don't feel like writing on myspace, or livejournal. My journal stays in my closet at home, and I never write while I'm there. But I wouldn't dare fun the risk of taking it out of my apartment.

So to those of you reading this who have no idea who I am, here's a quick introduction. I'm Moriah. I'm the product of those around me, just like everyone else in the world. I'm ignorant, but I'm an intellectual. I'm an elitist, but you all know so much more about everything. I'm an over achiever, and yet a procrastinator. I'm so happy with my life, with my Boyfriend, with my friends, with my job, with my family.. and yet I often times have the desire to scream. I'm a bundle of teenage angst, and I want to badly to mature.

I'm 18. A high school graduate. I'm starting college Spring '07. I'm the Healthcare Document Solutions Project Manger/IT Support at a small group of Christian based medical clinics in the area where I live. I'm an atheist. I'm in and out of a lot of things.

I moved in with boyfriend Christopher 3 months ago. We've been together for a year and three months. He's the most amazing human being I have ever met. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for him. I've grown so much just because of knowing him, and I want us to continue growing for the rest of my life.

However, I am a realist, and I know I'm young. So as much as I want this to work now, it may not. I know it would hurt a whole lot, and I'll miss him if we should ever part, but I'll just pick up where I left off. Hopefully it will never happen, because that's the last thing I want.

I'm easily annoyed by a lot of people. My friends especially. We all have areas where we are slightly less mature than others, but sometimes enough is enough. The highschool drama thing needs to stop. I can't deal with it. I'm not "straight edge" but I don't like being around users. I've been known to end relationships because of these three things.

I've walked away from a lot of people in my life, and I feel that it has only made me stronger. I haven't spoken to my father since I was in 8th grade. I was young, there was a lack of communication, and I except that things may not have happened the way they did had we both not acted so irrationally. But I don't blame myself, because for four years he could have tried to be the adult. I know I did, and I failed.

Now that you know bits and pieces of my life story, I may feel safer letting you in on other things. Whether or not I ever update this again is solely up to whether or not I feel the desire to write and share things with complete strangers.